Sabbatical (Saturday)

Sabbatical (Saturday)

Lisa and I have been spending good quality time together. I believe it has been healthy for us to share this quite time. Before Lisa arrived Thursday I was able to change a class for seminary to September. This was a great stress reducer as I have so much going on in August. It is not east for me to do this as I am an overachiever. I know that this will provide better quality time for Lisa and me. I do not realize how ministry is often in the front seat of my life and Lisa ends up in the back seat.

One thing that has become clear to me is that I need to spend more time acknowledging Lisa. I realize that I am taking her for granted. I am sure that I do, though not intentionally. I think that is something that happens when our focus shifts away from each other. I use the word shift because it is not intentional it is gradual and almost indistinguishable until one realizes their eyes are on something else.

I think this is what we tend to do with God. We focus on Jesus and his Word, but over time our gaze slowly shifts. We do our daily work (even ministry) and soon we have shifted our eyes away from him. We have not shifted our hearts, just our attentiveness. Soon we are no longer experiencing Jesus, we are experiencing life, our life. If we remain inattentive we like sheep will go astray. Of course, as in marriage, we find painful circumstances that cause our attention to return to our beloved. It would seem to me that my eyes have shifted, not my heart, but I find myself in a bit of a desert place, looking for the one I love.

It would be nice if finding my beloved was as easy as turning around; however, turning is just the start to the process of restored intimacy. It is not because my beloved wishes to remain distant, but there is confession to be done. Acknowledgement that I have lost my focus, that I have become cool, and that I desire, truly desire, to mend the way and embrace once again my beloved. The path back is more for healing than anything else.

Some folks today seem ready to run and say I am sorry. Hoping, to pick right up where they left off, but in so doing they miss the journey to a deep and lasting love relationship. A speedy return often leads to mediocre intimacy. The longer, slower, journey leads to lessons learned, mistakes to be corrected, and an awareness of pitfalls to avoid. The slower road often leads to a deeper and more fulfilling intimacy. I want no less in my relationship with Jesus than I do in my marriage. One need not fail to lose sight or become distant. No it is a slipping away usually the result of a lack of attentiveness. One needs simply to realize that things are cool and need to be fanned into flame.

O’ May the Spirit of God blow across my heart and kindle the flame anew. May I burn once again with the flame of his holiness.  Let your love burn brightly in my heart for you, so that I might love others as you have loved me. Restore in me the song of love that draws me daily to you